


He's The Guy

by LadyBArtist



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Gay Sex, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, The Apple, redshirt death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 21:28:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBArtist/pseuds/LadyBArtist
Summary: Captain Kirk breaks the 4th wall in his mission to Gamma Trianguli Six by telling us about his struggle to become more than just good friends with Mr. Spock.I need help with this. Basically, this is my working for the sequel to the story I just finished - One Summer. I want this one to have a different tone and voice and to be told directly by Jim. I'd like your thoughts on this draft - like is it working?After I've logged your comments, I plan to go away, write the whole thing, then post it. My head's telling me that it'll be about five-six chapters.Thanks in advance for all constructive comments. The events in this one are taking place during ep. 'The Apple' btw.





	He's The Guy

Do you know what it’s like to be in love with your best friend? It’s awkward, let me tell you. All that stuff you want to say, ‘There’s this guy I like, he’s driving me crazy,’ you can’t say because he’s the guy. He’s the guy keeping you awake at night. He’s the guy making your stomach tickle when he stands close to you. And when he says, ‘Is something on your mind, Captain?’ you want to say: ‘You. You are. Every damn minute of every damn day.’ But you can’t. You just can’t. Because he’s the guy. 

I know I have Bones to talk to. And he knows all about it. He got me drunk one night, deliberately I may add. He’d guessed anyway. When he asked me why I hadn’t made a move yet I told him, ‘Because last time I tried that, he ended up hospital.’ Know what he said? 

‘Ah - that was just growing-pains!’

Growing pains. I love the man deeply, but his talent for the dismissive statement sometimes takes my breath away. I swear that he thinks being Vulcan is just something Vulcans do to be awkward. 

And besides, it’s just not the same. Talking to Bones, I mean. I want to talk to the guy. I want to talk to Spock.

But I can’t talk to him. Ever. So I end up talking to some imaginary person in my head to try to deal with it all. Someone like you. You’re a new imaginary person for me, which must mean that my last one got so sick of hearing me go on and on about him that they left. Boy - my own imagination is tired of me. That’s…depressing.

What kind of things do I talk to my imaginary person about? Oh, you know – the usual. Like, ‘I think he did his eyeshadow differently,’ and ‘I like him in that dress uniform even though I’m court-martialling him, jeez - I hope I don’t have to give him the death penalty.’ My life is so weird. 

Also, I think about things I’d like to do for him. Like, maybe persuade him to come on shore leave with me, just once. Get some sun on that pasty skin. Make him drink a cocktail in a big glass with fruit in it and an umbrella just to see how non-plussed he looks doing it. Or take him to Vulcan. That’s a big one for me. I have this whole fantasy of getting him there and going to see his dad, and I’m like: ‘Enough, Sarek! Time you two talked.’ And they sit down and they make up and Spock’s like, ‘Thank you, Jim, I never could have done this without you.’ And then he holds his fingers up, and I press mine to his and now we’re Vulcan-married or something. Yeah. That’s a favourite.

And then there’s the, ah, sexy stuff. Such as, for some reason – shore leave, medical emergency, the Spice Girls reforming – no one is on the Enterprise. And I mean, no one. Except for me and Spock and we’re alone on the bridge together because someone has to man the Enterprise, right? And I’m doing my usual: looking at his ass when his back is turned, but this time he turns round and catches me off guard and he goes, ‘Captain, are you observing my posterior?’ and I go, ‘Yes, what of it? I’m the captain around here goddammit and I can do what I want!’ And then I press against him and he’s says, ‘Regulations, Captain!’ and I go, ‘To hell with regulations!’ and I can feel my breath coming back off his neck, hot. Then I put my hand on his cock and he says, ‘I am a Vulcan, I cannot feel emotion, Captain! Do your worst!’ And I take that as a goddamn challenge, so I go down on my knees and zip him open and I’ve got him in my mouth and I’m licking and sucking and he’s going, ‘No…cannot…must not…feel!’ So I pull his pants all the way down and my finger’s right in his tight, little hole and he starts to buck and moan and he goes, ‘Jim, Jim…I love you,’ and he puts his hands on my head and he brings me in closer and starts to fuck my mouth because he’s out of his mind and I’m touching myself and…

‘Spock! Spock! Spock! Spock spock. spo…’

Uhm, I better go jump in the shower. 

 

What’s that? McCoy’s at the door? Hang on – let me just pull my tunic on. Quick question – gold or green today? Green? That’s your favourite? Well, green it is then!

‘Enter.’

He’s grinning. See that? He’s up to something.

‘Jim! I got a plan.’

Here we go: ‘Oh yeah? What kind of plan, Bones?’

‘A plan to get you and Spock together.’

‘If you’re going to suggest that I grow my hair long and dye it bright blonde to look like Leila Whats-Her-Name again, you can forget it.’

Notice how Bones is staring at me as though that was all my fault. I know, right? It’s his superpower.

‘I apologised for that, Jim! No, this is a much better plan. Listen: you two go down alone to Gamma Trianguli Six today. Imagine: you’re away from the Enterprise, from all of us. Just you, Spock and some possibly murderous aliens, intent on flaying you alive. The excitement, Jim! The tension. It’s sure-fire recipe for pants-down, tackle-out, way-hey-hey!’ 

Yes, he’s a doctor. I checked his records myself. He has an actual medical degree from Starfleet, although right now it’s hard to believe. 

‘Bones, that is the silliest idea I have ever heard.’

‘No it is not! Every time you come back from a mission with just the two of you, you get back here with stars spangling in your eyes. Remember Organia? “Oh, Bones! We blew shit up and it was so great and Spock wore yoga pants and they were so ti-i-ight!”’

‘They weren’t “yoga pants” and my voice is not that high.’

‘Okay – what about Janus Six? You can’t deny that being alone in those tunnels with a Horta breathing down your necks did something for your dynamic. He was all “Captain, we must save this creature for science,” one minute, and then the next when your life was actually in danger, that turned into, “Jim I’m coming to blow that thing’s damn head off, how dare it threaten my boyfriend!”.’

Yah – when Bones does his Spock impression he always points his fingers up on the side of his head.

‘It was nothing like that.’

‘Poppycock! If I hadn’t turned up with that damn concrete, you two would’ve been doing it for sure.’

‘I wouldn’t have had sex in front of the Horta.’

‘No?’

‘No – I’d have taken him round the corner and done him there.’

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hah. Ah. This is pathetic. 

‘Look Bones, I get your point, but it’s just not feasible. We have a big area to scout and there were some strange anomalies reported by the scout ships. There’s no way I can risk a duo mission.’

‘You’re not giving up on him, are ya?’

‘What? Are you kidding, doctor? When have you known me give up on anything?’

‘Ah, that’s okay then. See you in the transporter room?’

‘Yes. Tell everyone I want them there in fifteen minutes.

Between you and me, I am kind of on the verge of giving up. Not on loving Spock because that’d be like asking me to give up breathing. I just think that a romance between us is never going to happen. Why? Well, that’s difficult to explain. For starters, it should’ve happened by now. I love him and I know he loves me. But too much water’s flowed under that particular bridge. The very fact that two men who love each other can’t make it happen? It’s become one long drawn-out, ‘Uhm…?’ It’s like the subject embarrasses us. It does me, anyway. Sometimes I see him in the corridor and I think – ‘Do it, Kirk!’ And I fly up to him on warp speed, ready and raring to say, ‘Go out with me, you beautiful thing!’ But by the time I get to him my dilithium crystals lose all their potency and all I come out with is an auxiliary-powered, ‘Can I get that report by oh-eight-hundred, Mr. Spock?’

It’s a mess.

And then there’s the women. For two gay men, Spock and I sure do get a lot of va-jay-jay. I mean, with me – you kinda expect it. But Spock? Boy, I wish I had his skill. The more unemotional he gets, the more they want him. I think he brings out the hunter in them. I see ensigns stalking him in the corridor, yeomen setting him in their sights. Then you’ve got Chapel, Rand – she had a crush on him once. Him and Uhura are ‘friends with benefits’ (he doesn’t think I know about that but I do). And then there was Leila of course. I almost lost him on that forever.

But the big mistake was all mine: Edith Keeler. I don’t know what happened or why, but yes – I fell in love with her, totally. She was an amazing woman. Brave, principled, warm-hearted, intelligent, beautiful. But it was something else. It was like I was being led down a path that I couldn’t get off. I could see Spock on another road that was diverging further and further away from me. And no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t get off the road I was headed down, away from him. I’m not sure he’s forgiven me for it. I hurt him, I could tell. He might be Vulcan but I can read his face like an old seaman reads a barometer in a storm. And the worst thing about it all is that I had my chance there. That freezing-cold apartment, the two of us bunked up, hundreds of years away from everyone? I could have. But I didn’t. 

Why didn’t I?

Because I’m scared. And I don’t even know what I’m scared of anymore. 

Ah – we’re here. Transporter room. Most of the team is here. Only Spock we’re waiting for.

‘Why is Yeoman Landon here, Bones? I wanted Rand.’

‘Janice wasn’t available. Besides, Landon’s a fine officer.’

‘I’m not denying that, doc, but Chekov is going to be macking on her the whole damn time.’

‘Ah – what’s up with ya? Getting old and cranky? Let the kid have a bit of planet time with his girl.’

‘This is a mission, not a date.’

This is very strange. I remember requesting Mallory, but Hendorff, Pascal and Marple? They’re are all changes to my team roster. There’s something about these guys…What is it? What is it?

Hang on.

‘Bones!’

‘Yes Jim.’

‘These men are all dating.’

‘Are they? Well I never! That’s a helluva coincidence, isn’t it?’

‘You son-of-a…Is this your new idea? Fill the mission with couples? For what? Inspiration?!!!!’

‘Ah, don’t get your underwear in such a twist. I just declared a couplea people off the roster medically unfit for duty and replaced them with these. And if it just so happens that they pair off and go walking a bit too far ahead, and you and you-know-who are left all alo-o-ne…’

‘I am going to strangle you with my own bare hands…’

‘And here’s the hobgoblin, right on cue!’

God. God. God.

He always gets me like that. Right in the stomach, like a punch.

Why do I like him so much? Erm – have you got all day? I’ll start with the obvious: he is beautiful. And I don’t mean that glibly. People overuse that phrase. But he is beautiful; fundamentally and completely beautiful. Spock reminds me of a theory: Plato believed that everything you see on Earth has a blueprint in heaven. For instance, Earth has a lot of different types of chairs – different designs and whatnot. But all the chairs on Earth are basically just lesser forms, poor facsimiles of the perfect chair which exists, up there with the gods.

My own personal take on this is that Spock is the blueprint for all men. He is the perfect form. 

He’s so beautiful that it hurts me to look at him sometimes.

‘Energise!’


End file.
